Writer’s Block

Where Am I Going, Anyway?

William Sundwick

I can’t seem to focus these days. Is it Coronavirus quarantine fatigue? Or, is it a much deeper philosophical crisis? I must ask myself: what kept me going writing in Warp & Woof, for nearly three-and-a-half years, that is now missing?

The obvious answer: my Writers Group is missing. For all those years, I wrote under strict weekly deadlines (with breaks between sessions). Now there are no such deadlines. And, it doesn’t look like I can reconstitute the group in the near future. Not until in-person classes are again offered by Arlington Community Learning, anyway. Zoom classes do not allow the kind of feedback that was critical for my weekly production of posts and kept me going during breaks. I relied on the six to nine classmates and instructor reading my output – and I theirs. Each week they would give me spontaneous thoughts on my piece, as I did for their work, complete with notes written on print copies of the piece. It was a good system, at once conversational and well-prepared. It was Jerry Haines’ system.

But then Jerry left for health reasons. ACL tried to replace him but could not. I’ve been lost without him. Among other things, Jerry taught me to focus on my intended audience. Was that audience the Writers Group itself? Or, did I have a different, virtual, audience in mind? Friends and family? I promoted my blog via social media contacts and email, although I never paid for promotion.

Facebook discussion groups and chat rooms have fallen out of fashion these days, however. Do I need a different means of promotion? Do I need another ACL Writers Group?

And, I am beginning to question whether I have anything to say. Perhaps now is the time to re-evaluate the five basic themes on which Warp & Woof was built:

1.    .       The Past – “What Used to Matter,” I labeled it. This is my page for all pieces covering politics, history, and sociology. It has by far the most posts, after three-plus years of writing since launching the blog. The page reflects what I read.
2.       .    The Present – “What Matters for Sure.” It is the next biggest collection, where I have written about health and fitness, including mental health and my own life today, as well as several excursions into my grandchildren’s lives. Certainly, my family and friends appreciate this material, and the Writers Group often gave me positive feelings about these pieces, too.
3.           The Future – “What May Matter, Who Knows?” This page is decidedly thin on original content. Its only noteworthy topics have been related to economics, placed here as projections or explorations of consumer behavior. Originally, I thought I would cover more science and technology on this page, and maybe anthropology (enduring elements of the human experience). Alas, these never materialized after the inaugural year of Warp & Woof. Is it time to retire The Future?
4.            Beats – “Sounds that Matter,” as I tagged it in 2017. It is perhaps the most coherent of all my pages, except for The Past, but has recently suffered because I’m simply not listening to music during this pandemic lockdown. My gym has been closed! I would always crank up my iTunes playlist on my phone while working out – but I don’t workout anymore. Sad. Perhaps Beats will pick up again in the future. I still maintain an interest in classic rock, blues, and more avant-garde forms of rock (punk and metal). My music speaks to me. I should be able to put it into words.
5.            Totems – “Objects that Matter,” was really about car culture – something which apparently died (at least among potential audiences of Warp & Woof) more than twenty years ago. Beyond a planned piece on the decline and fall of General Motors, I’m not sure there is anything else in this realm that interests me enough to write about. If I were to write about EVs or autonomous vehicles, I could put it on The Future page, instead. Sigh.

If I seriously wanted to overcome my writer’s block, I think I would put more energy into writing on science and technology for The Future, and possibly launch a new page dedicated to political ideology (although I might keep covering elections and candidates in The Past). I used to be an information professional, so I ought to have a strong technology focus, right? But it may have been too long since I retired from that field. I could do some research, though! That might be fun.

If only I could recreate the feedback loop from that ACL Writers Group and Jerry. That would surely dissolve my writers block! But it would require collective reading and commenting, perhaps face-to-face in a classroom environment. This Spring, I had an unhappy experience with a Zoom writers’ class where nobody read anything, and all writing was limited to 250 words, only read aloud in a kind of “performance.” Not the experience I was seeking. Worse, I mistakenly chose Tara Reade and her accusation of sexual assault against Joe Biden as my topic – basing four short blurbs on that continuously breaking news cycle, with commentary about her reliability and “the truth.” It amounted to nothing, and my writing came across as shallow, given the constraining format of the class. Not my style.

Perhaps American politics, and media coverage of it, is too shallow? That alone could explain my writing doldrums lately. I need better subject matter!

How Long Can I Last?

Getting Used to the Pandemic

William Sundwick

We are gradually re-opening. Phase 2 has begun. Chances are good that I can soon get an appointment at my local Hair Cuttery. Heck, if I wanted to, I bet I could go to my gym again starting this weekend.

It’s been nearly three months of pandemic quarantine in Northern Virginia. Long enough for old routines to be replaced by new ones. Long enough for me to become quite familiar with grocery delivery services and literally everything else I need or want in my day-to-day life, all available with “contactless delivery.”

The new routines have become so comfortable, in fact, that I’m in no hurry to return to the Before Times. And, nobody in my life is encouraging me to jump back in. Kids and wife all urge caution. Perhaps my previous life was not so dependent on getting out, anyway. I’m more concerned with weight gains from gym withdrawal than any social deprivation; more concerned about my car battery dying from sitting in the driveway than from the absence of driving pleasure (despite having just bought a new car in September).

And, loneliness is not a problem since my wife works from home. I know not everyone’s life is so well-situated. I gather there are serious class divides, not to mention personality constraints, that determine how well people can cope with quarantine fatigue. As always, I must “check my privilege” here.

Some adaptations I’ve made in my admittedly favorable circumstances as a retired, high risk, 73-year-old man are these:

•          Daily neighborhood walks are now enjoyed in company of my wife, after she goes “off the clock” late in the day – a new opportunity for some companionship. We’ve altered some of my standard routes on account of crowded trails or difficult topography. 
•          Doing our own housecleaning has been required since maid service was suspended during the quarantine. I’m not very good at this, but doing some things occasionally feels like mastery.
•          Discovery of grocery delivery services – Amazon Fresh, Instacart, Peapod, our favorite bakery. I had not been aware of this world previously but, indeed, you have always been able to get delivery of most things. It is contactless but I often leave an extra tip in an envelope taped to door. Delivery is getting easier now as more time slots are available. I try not to think about crossing picket lines for Amazon and Instacart drivers, who have been trying to strike.
•          Podcast listening times have changed somewhat – no longer during neighborhood walks or gym workouts -- but quite compatible with my typical Internet cruising routine during my wife’s workday. I still cannot combine listening to a podcast with reading a book, however.
  
•           One thing I do miss is my music library. That was previously reserved for listening while at the gym. I have not found another convenient time where my collection of rock, blues, and folk gives me the same biofeedback or physical/emotional charge as during gym workouts. Since I am not sure when I will return to the gym, I have some incentive to find another good music environment.
•       Speaking of my gym, I have noticed weight up about five pounds over this quarantine period – vigorous exercise, mostly cardio with some back strengthening, apparently was also a weight control strategy. Yet, gyms are high-risk indoor environments and I still await guidance. Surely, I won’t return until Phase 2 is well-established (gyms only at 30 per cent capacity, with no backsliding in new cases). Investment in home exercise equipment remains a dubious endeavor. 

In addition to these adaptations, there have been some non-routine experiences. I learned to give myself a haircut (after a fashion); with extra begging, my wife does the back of my head. It looks reasonable! I have ventured out, occasionally, to the post office, pharmacy, or local hardware store. Post office and pharmacy were fine (masks required), but the hardware store with its narrow aisles and many customers was somewhat scarier. FaceTime has become the standard means of communication with the grandkids, and my two adult sons as well. Recently, the George Floyd/Black Lives Matter protests came to my neighborhood (finally), and I crafted a sign, walked to the protest site, and mingled with the masked crowd for an hour!

Perhaps the best part of the pandemic quarantine, however, has been deciding what to watch next on television! The entertainment ecosystem has blossomed in recent years – it’s little wonder that movie theaters, even without a pandemic, are having a hard time surviving these days. Subscriptions to streaming services (and cable still in my house!) provide a myriad of choices – quality choices, too! When the latest Hulu series is complete (right now, Little Fires Everywhere), there is yet another queued up in “My Stuff” – or maybe back to HBO for the final season of The Wire, or Netflix, or Prime Video (just finished The Romanoffs there). With such a panoply of late-night entertainment, including snacks and nightcaps, there is conceivably no limit to how long I can last!